Me And My Donkey

I would have had a blog anniversary if.....

2007-08-17T14:49:00.000-07:00

If I was actually still blogging.....I don't know what to talk about anymore.
Rob Mack if you are out there holla at yo boy.... Slish can I get an invite to read your blog man ?!?!

Ohhhh Ok....Yeah Me Too

2006-12-08T08:58:00.000-08:00

Damn !! I've been hoodwinked, bamboozled, led astray, run amuck, I didnt land on Blogger Rock.....Blogger Rock landed on me !!!!! I really fell for the okie doke, I was all upset and damn near in tears over someone faking their death, WTF !! What the hell is this The Young And The Restlesss !?!? Soap Opera, Drama, we got a Lifetime movie on our hands here folks !!
I dont want to comment anymore on the events that have transpired over the past couple of days...I really hope that this all serves a purpose in the end...what that is we may never know. That entire situation would be a good script for a movie (Slish if you are reading this get to work on that man)... Ending on a positive note if you read the post prior to this one, don't let someone else's (for lack of a better word)Jackassedness deter you from being a bone marrow donor, I am sure there are REAL people out there that actually need help.
If you are reading this and have no idea what the hell I'm talking about BE GLAD !! DON'T ASK !! 1

For Trish.....

2006-12-05T13:08:00.000-08:00

I didn't have that much personal contact with Trish...only an email, and whatever comments we left on each other's blogs, but just by reading her blog I could tell that she was a very genuine, spiritual, caring, and thoughtful person.
In memory of Trish and with the hope of being able to help someone else going through what she went through I signed up today to be a Bone Marrow Donor. It was quick and painless just a couple of swabs in the mouth and you are finished, hopefully I can be used to help someone get through these things that take so many people from their families every day. I was told while there that a bone marrow donation may have saved Ed Bradley (from 60 Minutes)who passed away in November due to complications from Chronic lymphocytic leukemia. I was also told that out of 6,293,713 bone marrow donors nationwide, only 413,597 are Black. We need more Black donors people !! I encourage you to encourage someone to encourage someone else to be tested as a donor.
Bone Marrow and Stem Cell donations help people who have treatable leukemia, lymphoma, numerous blood diseases, and more. To learn more about National Bone Marrow and Stem Cell Registration Program, visit www.marrow.org.
Be Easy and as Trish always said "Stay Close"....1

This year at Thanksgiving..

2006-11-22T12:12:00.000-08:00

This year at Thanksgiving I hope and wish...
1. That my uncle doesn't make one of his "famous" potatoe salad sandwiches..That shit is just nasty to look at.
2. That Africans dont end up arguing over the last plate of chitterlings...Have some fuken dignity they're pig intestines Damnit !!
3. That the aunties dont get too drunk off of that "yak" ...talking about how much they miss the deceased frome years back...then talking about how much they hated their asses when they were alive !
4. That my cousins dont show up just to fix a plate and leave...that is some disrespectful shit..sit your asses down and eat with the family.
5. That my Uncle (again) dosen't knock over the women and children in order to get the first (3) plates...greedy nucca !
6. That the annual "Thanksgiving Day Spades Fight" doesn't break out...that gets ugly.. Granny cant fight like she used to..and cuss fights stops being interesting after a while. This also goes for Dominoes, Checkers, Chess, Playstation, Pictionary, or whatever else the family chooses to partake in.
7. That people realize that is doesn't matter who washed dishes last year, the point is that the shit needs to be done, wash your own damn dishes...that's what I do..besides I helped wash last year. =-)
8. That the family actually stop to give "thanks" this year..ungrateful ass ingrates, nothing is promised to us, stop and realize that.
9. And more than anything I wish that I could be there with you guys (my family & friends)...with that being said.. Why can't ya'll come visit me sometimes ?? DAYUM !!

Happy Thanksgiving... 1

I Finally Figured It Out....(I think)

2006-11-13T11:42:00.000-08:00

After all of these years... I have been hearing my family talk about how my sorry ass grandfather has a mistress and how wrong that is and how strong and enduring my grandmother is for staying with her man inspite of. I had formed my opinion of my grandfather long ago when he stopped speaking to me because I started dating his mistresses niece and ended up being on his turf alot (I think he did a cartwell when we broke up)...Nevertheless I never stopped to think that maybe he has a reason to do what he does. And after years of debate the jury is in !! Turns out the negro has had a reason all along. During a recent visit to my country home I ran into an older lady that claimed she recognized me and that she was my Aunt, I told her I was positive that I didnt know her and then I told her who my dad and grand-parents were....she proceeds to tell me that she knows what they tell me but do I want to hear the truth...I'm like WTF (cue dramatic music)... She tells me that my grand mother had an affair years ago with her brother and from that fling my dad was conceived (I always thought my dad didnt look like his dad but what the hell I dont look like my dad.. big deal). Then this woman tells me to question my youngest aunt about who HER father is....at this point I am about ready to dismiss this old broad and tell her to get out of my bidness, but 1 has to respect his elders. I call my aunt and tell her about the event that popped off and she tells me (shortned version) that out of 6 kids only 2 belong to the man that I call "grandfather" (more dramatic music)....I can see how over the years an affair may pop off but GOTDAMN how you go and have 4 kids by 3 other Africans and expect to keep a faithful husband ?? So now I see why my Grandma dont say shit when someone on the usher board tells her that they saw Mista (my granfather) and Ceily (his mistress) together at the grocery store, Hell I guess after all of these years He just dosen't give a Monkey's Ass what people say, shit look at what he's done over the years. Raise 4 kids that are the products of infidelity, and attempt to show some signs of a decent marriage, I applaud him for that. But my question is WHY STAY TOGETHER !! Finally I figured out why my grandma dont say shit, 'cause she can't........ I need to ask my Mom why dont I look like my Dad (What do ya'll think)
1

(I also need to ask Ceily's niece why she broke it off with me. I'd bet my playa hating ass grndfather had something to do with that...I'm still trying to figure all of this shit out)

Over the Years

2006-11-03T08:12:00.000-08:00

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.
I've learned that it takes years to build trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you'd better have a big cock or huge boobs.
I've learned that you can keep vomitting long after you think you're finished.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I've learned that OJ did it.....as well as Micheal Jackson, P Diddy, and Ray Lewis.
I've learned (from an episode of the Boondocks) that Black folks love R Kelly...and don't care what he did...if the girl didn't want to be pissed on she would have moved out of the way. (think about it)
I've learned that no matter how much "they" claim to like/love you, your black ass had better be to work on time.
I've learned that if someone can't keep their own business to themselves, they DAMN sure can't keep your's.
I've learned that physical attractions can only go so far, eventually there has to be some substance there, (Or.... is freaky circus sex enough ??)
I've learned that the old "early bird catches the worm" thing...was a bunch of Bullshit, I need my sleep.
I've learned that it takes only 1 non-driving jackass to fonk uP traffic for 10,000 other people.
I've learned that the people you care about the most in life are taken from you too soon, and all the less important ones NEVER go away.
I've learned to appreciate my friends and family a lot more....our time together is short and not promised, we need to enjoy eachother.

Happy Friday bloggers !! What up Rob Mack ?? What up Blah Blah Blah ??

I'm not saying...... I'm just saying

2006-10-24T12:22:00.000-07:00

First of all let me start by saying I didn't write this...but I am interested in hearing what my Blog Brothas and Sistas have to say... Enjoy !! 1

Bottom line--if I sleep with a woman I don't know or care about
SEX is NOT going to make me care. (I stopped doing that years ago) That
kind of sex is like scratching an itch. Once a man scratches, he's through.
He ain't sitting around thinking about that spot that itched or how
good it felt scratching it. He's moving on with his life until that spot
itches again and it don't matter which hand he scratches it with, just as
long as he gets rid of the itch.
Too many women PRETEND they can handle a sexual fling, but wind up
getting caught up and wanting us to romance and wine and dine them
and pretend we're having a "relationship" when it's NOTHING but a booty
call. Come on, ladies, y'all know I'm telling the truth.
Unfortunately, ladies, you are part of our problem. You sleep with
us BEFORE you know us or what we're about. Having sex with a man does
not automatically make that a "relationship". Many women will deny they
think like thi s but I'm speaking from personal experience. Also,
ladies tend to know when their men are fooling around and still turn a blind eye by
getting mad at the other woman. Now, what kind of sense does that
make?
Why should that woman make YOU (a total stranger) a priority in her
life? IF HE DID NOT MARRY YOU HE IS STILL SINGLE. The "other woman"
is not breaking up a "happy home".
Many women marry men who were cheating BEFORE they walked down the
aisle and then are SHOCKED that a fancy wedding dress or an expensive walk
down the aisle didn't change who he was. Why should he change? YOU
let him know it was acceptable by sticking around that long.
Ladies, start living with your eyes OPEN. Most shady men give
themselves away one way or another, usually before the first 30 days. Women
have to stop "rewarding" unfaithful men by pretending it ain't happening.
All of us Black Men do not cheat. I do not cheat on my lady so don't buy the hype.
I know other Black Men who do not but many men WILL cheat if there are NO
real penalties for it.
Stop jumping into bed with brothers YOU DON'T KNOW. That means fewer
opportunities for men to cheat. Women have to STOP being so afraid
to ask the important questions that would reveal his TRUE lifestyle.
Worry LESS about what kind of job he has and what kind of car he drives
and encourage him to talk about his past, particularly his past with
women.OPEN those ears and listen. Does he put down his ex-women and blame
them for everything? And don't be so vain. You are NOT a better woman
than his last. If he dogged her out, you will probably be NEXT.
Observe him when you are with him. Do you have his home number? Work
number? Have you seen where he lives? Where he works? Is he
secretive?
Did you ask if he's married or engaged? How does he treat other
people?
Listen to what he says, NOT what you want to hear. Stop INTERPRETING
the meaning of what he says to fit your purposes. If he says, "I'm not
lookin' for nothing right now" -- DON'T tell yourself, "Aw, he just
scared of getting hurt. I can change his mind.." NO YOU CAN'T. He
said exactly what the hell he meant. BM don't have to lie when so many BW
are already DEAF.
If you can't answer BASIC questions about a man DON'T OPEN YOUR
LEGS. I could kinda understand back in the days when sex wouldn't KILL
people but now? there's no excuse and if a BW takes that huge risk of
sleeping with a STRANGER then she better protect herself -- sexually AND emotionally.
Show our azz the door if we pressure you for sex too soon. Don't be
afraid to be alone. After you give our azz some you will probably be
alone anyway but now you feel like a fool. In other words, take your
time and check us out. if we REALLY like you, we'll stick around.
BUT if you decided to sleep with a man you hardly know, PROTECT yourself
and keep your expectations to ZERO. We do not owe you a relationship or
another date just because you had sex with us. That's not how it
works,baby.
I have TOO many female friends who give me horror stories that could
have been avoided if they'd done their homework first OR moved
SLOWER before giving up the panties. I try as a Black Man to give them the best
advice I can but that won't mean a damn thing if BlackWomen continue to live in a
dream world. You are TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE for your own sexual behavior the
same as I am. Blaming the man won't change a damn thing. Black Women have to look
in the mirror and take SOME of the blame for what's wrong with BM/BW
relationships. Let me end by saying....
SEX DOES NOT = A RELATIONSHIP
GIVING A MAN A READY-MADE FAMILY WILL NOT MAKE HIM COMMIT IF HE
DOESN'T WANT TO
A MAN WILL NOT RESPECT A WOMAN WHO DOES NOT RESPECT HERSELF OR HER
BODY...IF YOU TRADE SEX FOR MATERIAL THINGS YOU ARE PROSTITUTING YOURSELF
IF HE DOESN'T TAKE CARE OF HIS OTHER CHILDREN WHY WOULD YOU HAVE A
BABY WITH HIM?
IF YOU REWARD A DOG WHY SHOULD MEN STOP BEING DOGS?
BRING MORE TO THE TABLE THAN YOUR BODY. NO YOUR P*ZZY IS NOT MADE OF
GOLD. IT IS ONLY AS GOOD AS I THINK IT IS. BELIEVE THAT.
BLACK WOMEN are going to have to raise their standards if they expect BLACK MEN to
do it. The question is, are my beautiful Black Women up to the challenge? Are
you willing to be strong and stop taking the easy way out? Ladies,
ladies, ladies, hit me back with some truth, not some bullshyt. I don't want
to hear: "What you said don't refer to me 'cause I got my shyt together
and I'm a proud black woman who intimidates men and I never made no
mistakes, it's those other women who do things like that."
No, no, no! I don't want to hear you putting yourself on a pedestal
because I KNOW you've made mistakes. I want you to hit me back with
some
TRUTH. What are BW going to do about these shady, shaky
relationships that wind up in divorce court 60-70%% of the time, that's if we
bother getting married at all? What are Black Women going to do DIFFERENT to make
this shyt better? Hit me back, ladies and gents..

To Trizzy (stay close)

2006-10-06T07:52:00.000-07:00

In response to: 1 in the same ~ I'm so glad you're playing...TRUTH?? O.k. ~ what is the oldest woman that you've dated, and what was the main difference (sexually, conversationally, emotionally) btwn her and the ladies your age? (yeah...so I gave you a double-whammy, but you love ME, right??)

I dont hide my affection for older women, I have had several encounters with them but I am hard pressed to remember actually dating one.
I guess I'll tell you how it started.....My suite mates's mom would visit him alot due to the fact she worked on campus, our first meeting happened when I busted into the bathroom without knocking and she was in there changing clothes to go to a second job she had, I stumbled and bumbled my way out and back into my room only to have her follow me out topless telling me not to worry about it and attempting to talk to my nervous ass......weeks later I am in my romm chillin when there was a knock on the bathroom side of the door, I go to open it and to see Ms. Grier (she actually favored Pam Grier) on the opposite side. She said she came over to apologize for shocking the hell out me a few weeks back...I was like "cool" , "no problem".... I did let her know that I had no problem seeing her in that element and I realized that she didnt seem shy about it. We talk a little more about this and that, where we were from, and then the world got smaller....I found out she knew my Dad, and that my Dad actually had tried to get with her back in the day !! Long story short I started running into her on a regular basis on campus...and finally got the nerve to step my game up and aproach this WOMAN... I asked her out, she proceeds to tell me how cute she thought that was, leading up to what I thought was going to be a thanks but no thanks type of moment, as I dropped my head and started walking away she asks me how are we gonna go out if you dont know where I live... Fast forward to the weekend I get to her spot about 9:30, she says she wants to stay in and just drink and talk, I was cool with that since my pockets were thin... we drank Hennessey for hours...one thing lead to another and BAM!! She took your boy to places that I had never known existed, oral (girls my age wouldnt do that) from the back (girls my age werent comfortable enough to go there) I felt like I was in a porno movie....

So to answer Trish's second question at the time the biggest difference was sex... the older women knew what they wanted and how to ask for it, there was no beating around the bush, just straight to it, and boy was "it" good... I still dont discriminate against age (I am 28 so.....45 or 46 is my cutoff)but I do find myself talking to younger women these days (younger being 25 to 26)
Emotionally things are not that different, older women are usually more stable financially but that is not a big thing with me, I am able to hold my own conversationally so that is not a problem either.
Dont get me wrong I dont go out looking for older women it is generally just whomever I vibe with.. Thanks Trish for giving me something to post... Good Stuff...1

The One That Let Me Find Out

2006-09-13T11:52:00.000-07:00

I have always said to every female I've been involved with that "I don't care if you cheat on me,just don't let me find out".... So far only one tried me on this.
After my "break-up" with PD (see I did this to myself) my high school girlfriend ended up attending the school I was at. Needless to say I was in a rut after everything that happedned with PD so I sort of gravitated towards my ex (from this point on known as BuckWild or BW...sorry Flav...I choose this name because I couldn't keep this monkey out of the club she lost her fuken mind once she started school)We ended up starting up where we left off when I graduated she was a year or so behind me so we had been apart for nearly 2years, but things seemed to be the same, little did I know this bitch was handing out the ass like student loans, almost everybody could get it.
This is how I found out.....She picked me up one day after practice, all of the guys were walking out of the gym at the same time talking trash, the usual... I see BW across the parking lot,I give my so called boys a pound and head that way. I get in the car give her a kiss and we head back towards the way I just walked from...as we are driving by some of these Africans start slapping the trunk of her car and hollering out her name "BW what's up girl, BW let me get in".. I look at her and ask her "how do you know these cats you just got here 3 weeks ago" she trys to play me like my name was Joe Doughnut by telling me that they are friends of her roomate. OHHHH OK (that is my "you know I don't believe you" response) About this same time I let the seat back and stretch out, putting my hands in the back seat.....WTF !!! I feel a hat in the backseat, knowing I don't wear hats I pull it out to take a look, it was a bright yellow Polo hat, only one person on campus had a hat like this, he was on the basketball team, and his shit was in MY WOMAN'S CAR !!
I questioned her about it and again she blames her roomate, saying she let her use her car the previous night. I know this bitch and I know she is not letting anyone drive her 1990 Cavalier. I tell her to take me to the dorm to take a shower and that we'll talk later. I go up to the basketball player's floor straight to Mr Yellow Hat's room. I just flat out asked him "Yo Yellow Hat you supposd to be my boy,if you smashed BW just let me know so I can drop that chick, that is all I want to know." He beats around the bush for 5 minutes or so then he says "Yeah 1 I hit that within the first week or so after she got here"... I was a little taken aback but didnt over-react I was like "cool, thanks for telling me I supposed you didnt know I was talking to her" during this time Yellow Hat's roommate comes into the room thus giving Yellow Hat reason to try to show his ass and try to disrespect your boy 1. He starts talking loud saying shit like "she came to me 'cause you wasn't doing nothing"...I look at him try to explain that I have no beef with him and that I'll take it up with her..but he keeps on and his roommate chimes in. I walk out the door only to hear more chatter from these two jack asses.. at this point I've had enough daddy didn't raise no punk...I go back into their room grab yellow hat around the neck and proceed to put the Joe Jackson choke on his azz..his punk ass roommate runs up out the room and we go at it...after stuffing his azz between the wall and the bed I jump in my car catch BW outside of her dorm and tell her to get it..she does and I start questioning her again about what happened...she starts lying and lying and lying, I tell her what happened back at my dorm and only then did she tell me what happened with her and Mr Hat... I pulled my fist back and with everything in me (dramatic music)... punched my windshield, the entire driver side shattered, she starts screaming begging me not to hit her...daddy also told me not to hit a woman...so.... I slowed the car down to about 5 mph (this was right in front of our student union) and pushed her ass out right there in front of everybody.....I got into some trouble with coach for kicking a starting player's ass, but otherwise everything else was cool, BW and I talk occasionally when I go to the SIP and she always tells me how she messed things up with us, but truth be told I'm glad she did. 1

Loose Lips Sink Ships

2006-09-05T14:36:00.000-07:00

In this day and time of self-serving, back biting mutha fukas... I present a question to you the blog world..."Whom do you trust" ??
Since I relocated to the great mid-west a few years ago, some questionable (at best) characters, along with some folks with my best intentions in mind have entered in and out of my life.
I was friends with this one cat (we'll call him....PAB, short for Punk Ass Bitch) despite my choice for a name for this individual we were once tight, we would kick it on the weekends, hit the clubs, whatever... PAB was off the chain (I would wish to get into some of the shit he got into) he was getting "hooked up" in vacant offices at the gig, smashing another of our co-workers (at work) and telling me everything, I was like cool, you must be the man especially since your wife works around the corner. His little escapades went on for a month or so until his business got out, the first person he blamed for his problems was me. Long story short I did not tell this Africans business, I was kind of surprised because he didn't check the females he was messing with first. Even after defending myself and explaining to this monkey that he needed to talk to those females before accusing me, nonetheless it all got out of hand and to this day (over a yeat later) he's said nothing to me. I am not sweating the fact that this cat hasn't said anything to me over some BS, I'm tripping because this is someone I trusted. Does this mean I should re-evaluate my trust process ?? I am not one to trust easily, so I guess I let one fall through the cracks.
I have my small circle of friends that I can trust with anything, they know who they are most of them read this blog...I just want them (my small circle of confidants) to know whatever you have said to me in confidence best believe I'm taking that to the grave with me, and I expect the same courtesy from you guys.
Who can you trust, and with what information ?? Who's to say your best friend won't be black-mailing you with some of the horrible shit you've done... I dont think I have one secret that only myself and the good Lord knows, I am an open person, I share info with my circle, I consider them trust-worthy, they tell me things so apparently they consider me the same.
Where should I draw the line with things I keep to myself ?? I need to remember "Loose Lips Sink Ships" I am not trying to sink no one's ship.....and I hope no one is gunning for mine....1

I Did This To Myself

2006-08-17T10:41:00.000-07:00

I was reflecting on my past relationships with a co-worker one day after reading one of Blah's blogs about loving someone that dosen't love you, and it made me think about all of the females that I have wronged in my life.
I have always been blessed to have good quality women in my corner when it comes to relationships, dont get me wrong I have had my share of skeezers,weirdos,chicken-heads, and just your avereage run of the mill stank ass hoes but those were just to serve one purpose only. When it comes time for a relationship there is usually a quality woman there ready and willing to be a part on my life, if I am not reluctant to let her do so.

I said all of that to get to this story...this happened during my college years and really affected me in ways that I was not aware of until recently.

When I went into college I had no intentions of getting into a serious relationship, afterall I was on the basketball team (even though I wasnt going to see much court time I could still pull all of the second tier chicks that the real ballers didn't want, and I had planned to fully take advantage of my new social position)..little did I know that I would meet this beautiful, smart, gorgeous, sweet, sexy, coke bottle shaped, young lady (we'll call her....The Preacher's Daughter or PD)it was LOVE at first sight, my jaw dropped when I saw her... I remember it like it was yesterday...she was standing on the opposite side of a fence by her dorm, I was walking with my man Big D who was in the band and had already been at school for a week..Big D says "Hey PD what's up"....I immediately grabbed this African around the neck and started the interrogation "Who is she" "Where is she from" "Can I be her baby daddy" the whole nine...He proceeds to answer all of my questions, tells me she is in the band with him and then tells me I am on my own if I want to holla at her... (Insert dramatic music here) this is supposed to be my boy and he is leaving me hanging like this...truth be told he already knew PD, he knew what she was about, and knew she did not need to be talking to my sorry ass. Never the less I did convince him to at least introduce me to her which he did, and the Donkey took over from there, somehow I talked her in to going out with me on the very next night,as long as we took my man Big D, and 3 of her friends who were some big homely chicks and I drove a Geo Storm...but I pulled it off some kind of way. Long story short...we went out (I hit it the next day) and ended up starting a relationship with her, I ended up falling DEEPLY in love with PD everyone knew it. I was a changed man, she had me in church, in the choir, and I had my Donkey in check for one of the first times in my life... but the sun don't shine forever......

Basketball season starts, the ladies are starting to notice your boy a little more, and the obvious happens... my "friends" on the team started tellin me how crazy I was to be locked down to one woman and that I should be out trying to gather all of the "scattered ass" that I could while the geting was good...I knew I couldn't hurt PD no more than I already had, and I wanted to do the "right" thing, so My Stupid Ass decides to break it off with her....

1inthesame: "PD you know I love you.. but I have reached a point where I am not sure what I want and I think we should take some time apart"..

PD: "I thought things were good between us please don't do this I can't handle this right now I need you"

1: "PD please dont make this any harder than it has to be, we need this time apart"

(to this day this was the hardest thing that I have ever done)
she continues to beg me not to do this to us...we talk for about 2 more hours, with her crying the entire time... I finally think I have her convinced we need time apart... I walk her back to her dorm...walk back to my dorm..take a nap..get up to get ready for practice...something tells me to call PD to check on her..her roomate "Project Pat" answers the phone..I ask Pat where PD is, she says, she is laying over here in the bed she has been passed out since I got in the room... I ask her to wake PD up....she comes back to the phone saying that she is really sleeping hard I cant wake her up...RED FLAGS !!!!!!!! PD is an extremely light sleeper, I tell Pat to STAY put until I get there,something is not right...I run across campus to her dorm..(at our school guys had to check in with the girls dorm proctor in order to go back to their room) I go check in with the proctor very frantically...I need to see PD ASAP...this fat bitch was on the phone and looked at me like I was crazy...I told her again I need to see PD ASAP...I still didn't get the desired response....so I jump over her desk and head back to PD's room...I start beating on the door hoping Pat will answer the door... no answer, by this time the proctors big butt has gotten off of the phone and is coming towards me with campus security..I tell her what I think is wrong, all the while she is telling Security about what I did...instead of going to check on PD they "usher" me back to the front to calm me down.... Proctor lady gets the message finally and trots back to unlock the door....I bust free from Campus cops and get to the door right as she is opening it.... PD is PASSED out COLD on the bed.... security comes and calls the ambulance to rush her to the hospital...Come to find out she has taken every form of medication that she has in her room and even went to buy more she had take over 20 kinds of medication !!! She arrived to the hospital in time to have her stomach pumped and she survived... after a couple of days in the hospital under the Doc's care and the watchful eye of her Mom, she was released to go home......

We never officially got back together after this suicide incident...during my "Jack Ass" phase she met some cat that was supposedly all into church and he made her forget about me...she married this bastard shortly thereafter and they are still married to this day, they have 3 kids, she has 2 jobs, he quit his job, started taking drugs, and will not let her leave him.. (I got all of this info from one of her friends that I ran into on one of my trips home).... I BLAME Myself for all of this....

Now I find myself staying in relationships that I dont want to be in because I am worried about the person trying to harm themselves due to me,I stay involved hoping that she'll get tired of me and the distance that I continue to put between us maybe she'll break it off with me. I did this to myself, I deserve it, I refuse to put myself through that again, who knows...maybe next time I'll ignore that something telling me to call,maybe next time I wont run over to check on her, maybe next time I'll be too late... I do know that it will be a blessing to be with woman that was as good to me as she was, a woman as sweet, kind, loving, and beautiful as she was... I know I did this to myself........1

My Friend

2006-08-16T14:11:00.000-07:00

I have this really great friend.....and I love her. I just can't say her name...... If I could I'd tell the world. (are you happy now)

?? What If Wednesday ??

2006-08-16T09:27:00.000-07:00

On top of the last blog I have a couple of "What If" questions for ya'll...

1. What if you were a porn star ?? What would your name be ?? I am going to "borrow" (damn I am "borrowing" a lot of stuff lately) Buck Naked...this was the name George used on Seinfield.

2. What if I tried to get on a commercial flight with a jumbo tub of Vaseline Intensive care lotion, a bag of Trac Phones (cell phones), and a Hawaiian Punch. Would I be considered a terrorist threat ??

3. What if the South would have won the Civil War ?? Would that not have beem some shit, what would 50cent and Flava Flav be doing ??

4. What if you shared a problem with someone and their response was "I don't have a solution, but I admire your problem"...would you be tempted to smack their mother for giving birth to such a smart assed child ??

5. What if you got a paper cut from a Get Well Card ??

6. What if all of the teams in the NFL go 8-8 this season ??

7. What if someone suffering from amnesia was cured ?? Would they remember what they forgot??

8. What if a fat person went skinny dipping ??

9. What if the Hokey-Pokey is really "what it's all about" ??

10. Lastly ya'll for my What If Wednesday (drum roll please)..... What if Wiley Coyote didn't buy all of that cheap ass ACME stuff....could he have just went out and purchased dinner ??

You can see what kind of day I am having...enjoy yours !! 1

?? Why Why Why ??

2006-08-16T07:23:00.000-07:00

I have felt really uninspired over the course of the last week so here is something that I "borrowed" from an email....

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

Acting a Donkey

2006-08-11T10:01:00.000-07:00

Girl, I been shaking, sticking and moving tryin to get you and that booty
Tryin get to you and that booty....
Girl, I been shaking and acting a DONKEY tryin to get you and that monkey
Tryin to get you and that monkey... (T-Pain featuring E40 / U and Dat)

How does a DONKEY act one might say...
Anyone that knows me (feel free to comment) knows that I am usually a laid back guy, I tend go with the flow, I am non-confrontational (to an extent), basically a laid back, hide and watch type of guy..... but then there another side of me.. an alcohol fueled beast that tends to make sure he is seen and known (sort of like P Diddy...lol).

The Donkey laid low for years when I first moved up here.. being a country animal and not being used to the "BIG" city and all...and then one night it happened... (I believe the moon was full that night) after having 10 or 12 beers... 7 or 8 Absolut and Cran (this is supposed to be my "finisher") it was like when the lightning hit Frankenstein.. "I was ALIVE".... The Donkey had me everywhere...talking to women, dancing, flirting, passing out my number, taking numbers, buying drinks, drinking drinks.... This MoFo was on point all night !! I had to ask one of my friends the next day "did you see my donkey last night"...she was like "Donkey ?? No, Why ??" I say.."Because I know I showed my ass !!" (I'll wait while you try to recover from laughing at that funny shit.....hum the music from Jeopardy to yourself.............) Since that night it gets easier each time I go out to let my guard down, to let the donkey run things for a moment...letting him out of the cage once every two or three months shouldn't hurt anything should it ??

This is my alter-ego ladies and gents, who else out there has one ??

Age Ain't Nothing But A Number.......(Or Is It ??)

2006-08-08T06:34:00.000-07:00

I believe Aaliyah said it best in her song...but I am starting to question this shit. I have a friend (who shall remain nameless in this post, she knows who she is) that refuses to tell me how old she is, she used the adage of "If you really like someone what difference does age make".... that is my sentiment exactly !! What difference does it make !?! I know this is like arguing with a stop sign...especially since we are saying the same thing (what difference does it make). I get agitated when I ask (not that frequently) and she says "why do you need to know"...and I know she gets pissed when I ask (not frequently..but frequent enough to piss somebody off).
She threw me some random # just to shut me up...and I did shut up, but just because I felt insulted.
My question for you all is should I just drop it because it is some trivial bullshit.....or should I press it 'cause what kind of relationship (friendship or otherwise) can be built if we cant share trivial shit ??
If you are liked by me (friendship or otherwise) I dont give a f**k if you are blind,cripple, and crazy (as long as you are fine)(just joking...I am not quite that shallow)...the worth I place on your age would equal a glass of baboon piss (nothing to me...somebody might actually drink that shit !!!)
But give me your feedback....what would ya'll do.

Shout out to HUNTSVILLE ALABAMA....thanks for showing me a good time this weekend (Black Applebees was off the chain !!) see you in October for Homecoming !!

!! Going to the Sip !!

2006-08-03T09:17:00.000-07:00

I had no intentions of going all the way home this weekend... but my folks gave me this guilt trip on how I'd feel bad if something happened to them and I didnt stop by this weekend...I am not going to be that damn close to the crib (3 hours),but I love my folks so I am going ALL THE WAY HOME.

With that being said...IT'S ON !!! Since I moved up here, everytime I go home has the potential to be a booty buffet,I'm talking every female I ever had the displeasure of knowing is coming up to me. The average conversation goes like this...(female) "Hey hows jou doing" (me)"fine and you" (female) "we ok, since you at home when you gon take me and my momma to the drive in picture" (me) "as flattering as that sounds I think I will pass, I am a little busy this weekend" {female} "ohh ok I see you done went and moved Up North and you too good fo us" {me} no that is not the case at all, I am just really busy attempting to visit all of my family and all" {feamle)"weel if that's the case just come over to Momma's tonight and I'll give you some ass before you leave".......... WTF !! what part of the game is this... this is totally a fictional conversation but it is always that easy to come across some "scattered ass" when I visit. This is a good example of out of sight out of mind..because when I am Up North I dont hear from any of these scamps, but as soon as I get home here they come like roaches with the lights off.
They have me feeling like the one "African" that ran away from "Boss" and the plantation that got away. It's crazy !!
But non the less I will ride my donkey up in there and act a fuken fool all weekend and on the way home I am looking at this "donkey" like WTF did you do...notice how I put all of the blame on the donkey.

I can always leave it up to my guys to roll out the red carpet and show me a great time whenever I return...just bring the Raid out for those roaches.
!! NO RECIPROCATION NEEDED THIS WEEKEND !! Leave me the Hell ALONE.. I'm on vacation.

Totally off of the subject sidenote: Have any of you guys seen the Pine-Sol commercials where someone is just chilling and then they get a whiff of Pine-Sol and just scream out WOOO !! Then the fat black lady comes out and says "That's the power of Pine-Sol baby"... I think I can apply this same concept to some good (stuff) your boy had recently..I was just sitting here thinking about that (stuff)and damn near (at my desk) screamed WOO !! I half expected the fat black lady to waddle her ass from around the corner and say "That's the power of Pu**y baby" WOO !! 1

My Stupid Ass

2006-08-01T11:58:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Missy for telling me that comments were not posting....I apologize guys, apparently I checked Moderate comments while playing around with the settings on Friday not knowing what in the Hell I was doing..I was just about to stop posting..I was like Damn nobody even reading this shit.... But thanks for posting ...and please let me know next time. Email your boy...thesameoneinthesame@yahoo.com

Reciprocated

2006-08-01T06:44:00.000-07:00

After all of this preaching that I have been doing about "reciprocation"... I have come to realize that the best things come to those who wait. I am going to stop being one of those give me mine now brothers... with everything women have to go through these days...Personally I am lucky to be getting anything at all.
After a careful, in depth field study this is the conclusion reached: save a little for later,an element of surprise is not that bad. Ladies and gentlemen please do not take this and run with it..thinking that after you get hooked up you can just take your ass to sleep with the mindset of "no problem I'll get you back next week." Remember there is a fine line between satisfaction and getting your ass choked from all of the sexual frustration that you have helped your significant other build up.
I am going to bring my "A" game each and every time (except that one time after drinking a 1/2 gallon of Extra Dry Gin...I wonder did I ever apologize for throwing up on her ??)so I just feel my effort should be duplicated.

With that said..I have reached another conclusion.I used to live under the LAW that it was about the quanity of the ass and not the quality...boy was I wrong. I seemed to only pay attention to the packaging and not to the product. If I would reached this conclusion years ago I could have saved myself numerous embarassing encounters, such as the ever dreaded "why didnt you call me the next day", "how you just gonna bust a nut and leave", or the one I hated the most "what's next". I never really thought about making a connection, sharing a bond, none of those quality things. I was all about SMASHING,DESTROYING,KILLING some booty. Damn if I knew then what I now know....
I have been reciprocated ya'll...payback is a bitch !! 1

Count Me In

2006-07-31T11:18:00.000-07:00

My best friend, my ace, my ni**a if you dont get no bigger, where do I even begin with this.... I am proud of you man, you have a beautiful baby girl and I am proud that you are doing what you feel is necessary to make things right by her...

Although we dont get to see each other as much as we did, it seems like I see you everyday since we talk so damn much...and even though you and the future misses said that it is not necessary for me to come ALL THE WAY down there, I wouldnt miss this for the world, and I know that you would not think twice about doing the same for me.

Ladies reading this know that the world will be so much safer for you and your daughters now that this African is off the market... together he and I have terroized the South, parts of the Midwest, and several islands off of the coast of Florida (lol)we sound alot like Hurricane Katrina.. But seriously Sneak congrats..if you ever need me for anything at all never hesitate to call me and dont even think about going to that Court House until I show up Friday morning !! May God bless you and the future Mrs. Sneak, baby Sneak, may your marriage be blessed, your household, and your family. Do your thang dog "I aint mad at ya"... Love ya Man..
Count Me In for Friday...

28 Random Thoughts From a 28 Year Old on the 28th Day

2006-07-28T12:45:00.000-07:00

1. Why is it that I meet someone "perfect" whenever I am already involved ?
2. With that being said...Why is it so hard to end a relationship when I know I am unhappy ?
3. Why am I attracted to older women ?
4. Why did I steal this Blog idea from Rob Mack ??
5. Why do certain "Africans" not know how to act in Corporate America ?
6. Why do certain "Africans" not know how to dress for Corporate America ?
7. Are Flip Flops acceptable for Corporate America ?
8. Where in the hell did "she" find a size 14 women's flip flop ?!?!
9. Why am I really starting to "feel" Track Star...(see "Why are these Bitches so Nosey??")
10. Why do I check Blah Blah Blah's blog 15 times a day ?
11. Why did I feel obligated to post a blog today ?
12. How long does it take to figure out this entire Blog thing (so far I can only post and comment) ??
13. If I say I am going to call you back in 15 minutes....please give me at least 10 minutes before you call me back.
14. Why is it that when I talk to a dude whose voice is deeper than mine I try to make mine deeper ?
15. Why did my mom tell me back in the day "If she can't use my comb dont' bring her home" (no offense Mom..I am not trying to have some nappy headed chick coming to the crib using your big afro comb... where my ladies with the "good hair" at ??)
16. How many women still use combs anyway ?
17. Will I have a nervous breakdown when I hit 30 ?
18. Do not tell me your business...I do not want to know.
19. If at one time you did tell me your business and it got out dont ASS-U-ME that I told it.....Bitch you know you told everyone else...you know what happens when we assume things. Feelings get hurt, toes stepped on, all that 'ol stuff.
20. Why does my family only call me with bad news ?
21. How did I escape having a Southern accent... 23years in "The Sip"..no one can tell.
22. I will keep reciprocation alive !! remember that..(I know you are reading this)
23. I agree with Rob Mack... by all means Chicago area "fun boys" be gay and proud of it...Rob you cover the South and I'll handle the ladies up North.
24. Why do I not go into the city more ?
25. I believe I will go looking for some "scattered ass" this weekend (plenty of protection + random chick + alcohol = scattered ass)
26. With those ass whoopings she was taking..How in the hell did Tina think Ike still loved her. (what part of the relationship is that)
27. Why in the hell would you leave home to use the restroom at work ?...this is something that I will never understand...Handle that shit (literally) before you leave home.
28. Where did the Summer go ?! I missed it =-(

Have a good weekend everyone...Keep The Dream Alive RECIPROCATE !!

I will drop a bomb if ya'll dont turn some AC on !!!

2006-07-25T11:39:00.000-07:00

Dont ya'll believe this is the sentiment of half of the people living and fighting in the Middle East. "If there was some AC on somewhere, anywhere I would be cool (literally)"
I know how it is when I get hot...Let the Ac go off in my crib (even here in IL) I am ready to kick sombody's ass. Imagine living in that constant heat all of your life.. hell yes I'd be ready to fight!!
I heard someone say.. open a water park up over there....fighting would cease immediatley, blast the Electric Slide in the middle of a battle...guns would hit the ground before the first turn and dip... We have ways to stop the fighting over there, who is willing to bet that this is what Condi is thinking this week while she is over there..."Fuck all this fighting ya'll, let's have a barbecue."

Not making light of these situations at all...just trying to lighten up a dark situation.. Keep Blogging ya'll...dont forget to reciprocate.

Reciprocation

2006-07-21T08:17:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday Blog World !!
Wikitionary defines reciprocation as a mutual giving and returning; as, the reciprocation of kindness.
First of all (ladies) I don't do anything for the purpose of receiving anything in return, I do it 'cause I want to and I love something about yo fonky ass.
Just think though you just put in major work on your man..I'm talking about hooked him UP ...balls and all... after you finish he just sits there looking at the fukin wall or something. You my friend will be in need of reciprocation..
Fellas stop being so damned selfish..hook your ladies up occasionally, 'cause you know you are gonna want her to smell your NUSTY MUTS sooner or later.... RECIPROCATION.. one good turn deserves another.
Ladies tell that Monkey Quid pro Quo...Fellas learn what that shit means.
One more thing ladies dont wait until ya'll are just about to almost maybe get down to do the 'ol nasty rug burn dance...surprise his ass grab that thang, take it out and handle your business... finish it up... and calmly tell that Monkey you want.....RECIPROCATION.....Have a good weekend... and get out there and reciprocate.

?? Why Are These Bitches So Nosey ??

2006-07-19T06:07:00.000-07:00

Why are these bitches so nosey ya'll.... talking about these "folks" I work with. I have a female friend here at work, she's new here, fine as hell, has more sense in her little toe than these big Sophia from the Color Purple looking.... that is neither here nor there..I digress..back to the question "why" damnit "why".

I am a friendly guy, so what I am friendlier to females more so than males... the thing is I am friendly on damn near the same level with all these females in here as I am with (what shall we call her)... Track Star (more on that as we progress). My professionalism can only go so far, two weeks ago BDO (Big Dark One) has the nerve to call me aside and ask me what's up with me and Track Star, I proceed to tell her that nothing is going on we are merely friends and that is it, she then asks me "Do you think I am stupid" in my mind "The Donkey" was telling me to say "Hell Yeah, monkey you have to be stupid to have the nerve to just come out and ask me that"...but my Mom taught me to be respectful to my elders so I stuck with my original answer of "nothing".

Yesterday Track Star tells me that another of "The Goonies" asked her what's up with us...to which she gave the same reply.. Goonie then tells her.. just watch yourself girl I have heard that he messed with another girl here that got fired...My response was... WTF !!!!! Goonie has been here less than a year compared to my 5 yrs... we speak when we cross paths (me being friendly) so I'm thinking what do YOU know about ME.

Sidenote: BDO also came up to me regarding said female from last paragraph to ask the same question..it was almost an instant replay of this situation with Track Star.... Last female was "just a friend" attractive and younger than these other crows...

Why can I not be friends with an attractive, younger female at work ? I have had similar relationships with older women at work and not a damn thing has been said.. why the hate ladies, and gentleman (only one).

Be aware co-workers>>> Professional 1InTheSame has left the building...Stay the FUCK UP OUT MY BUSINESS !!!

2006-07-14T10:35:00.000-07:00

1 In The Same

1 In The Same... This has been a title that I have tried to avoid my whole life of being 1 In the same. I spent most of my high school years, all of my college years and a majority of my adult years not so much trying to convince others but trying to convince my self that I AM NOT 1 in the same. Dont get me wrong Blog world there is nothing wrong with being one of the crowd when I say 1 in the same I am comparing my self to influences in my life, i.e. my Dad, my grand pa (both of them), various Uncles and various friends.

When I say I have had some PISS poor male influences... damn ya'll I have had some piss poor male influences. I am sure over the course of our time together I'll share some stories for yo' ass.

Long story short because of the way I have seen most of my male family act I have spent years trying not to be like "THEM" and convince myself that I am not 1 in the same.

Regardless of these things I still find myself doing the Generational thing my folks are doing and have done...WTF I know better... Stay Tuned...

Long Time Coming

2006-07-14T09:52:00.000-07:00

Well here we are post # 1... not sure what I plan to accomplish by this Blog... I just know that after reading the adventures of Slish, R Mack and Zed.. I thought I might have a story or two to tell.. Stay tuned we'll see what turns up.