I'm not saying...... I'm just saying

First of all let me start by saying I didn't write this...but I am interested in hearing what my Blog Brothas and Sistas have to say... Enjoy !! 1

Bottom line--if I sleep with a woman I don't know or care about
SEX is NOT going to make me care. (I stopped doing that years ago) That
kind of sex is like scratching an itch. Once a man scratches, he's through.
He ain't sitting around thinking about that spot that itched or how
good it felt scratching it. He's moving on with his life until that spot
itches again and it don't matter which hand he scratches it with, just as
long as he gets rid of the itch.
Too many women PRETEND they can handle a sexual fling, but wind up
getting caught up and wanting us to romance and wine and dine them
and pretend we're having a "relationship" when it's NOTHING but a booty
call. Come on, ladies, y'all know I'm telling the truth.
Unfortunately, ladies, you are part of our problem. You sleep with
us BEFORE you know us or what we're about. Having sex with a man does
not automatically make that a "relationship". Many women will deny they
think like thi s but I'm speaking from personal experience. Also,
ladies tend to know when their men are fooling around and still turn a blind eye by
getting mad at the other woman. Now, what kind of sense does that
make?
Why should that woman make YOU (a total stranger) a priority in her
life? IF HE DID NOT MARRY YOU HE IS STILL SINGLE. The "other woman"
is not breaking up a "happy home".
Many women marry men who were cheating BEFORE they walked down the
aisle and then are SHOCKED that a fancy wedding dress or an expensive walk
down the aisle didn't change who he was. Why should he change? YOU
let him know it was acceptable by sticking around that long.
Ladies, start living with your eyes OPEN. Most shady men give
themselves away one way or another, usually before the first 30 days. Women
have to stop "rewarding" unfaithful men by pretending it ain't happening.
All of us Black Men do not cheat. I do not cheat on my lady so don't buy the hype.
I know other Black Men who do not but many men WILL cheat if there are NO
real penalties for it.
Stop jumping into bed with brothers YOU DON'T KNOW. That means fewer
opportunities for men to cheat. Women have to STOP being so afraid
to ask the important questions that would reveal his TRUE lifestyle.
Worry LESS about what kind of job he has and what kind of car he drives
and encourage him to talk about his past, particularly his past with
women.OPEN those ears and listen. Does he put down his ex-women and blame
them for everything? And don't be so vain. You are NOT a better woman
than his last. If he dogged her out, you will probably be NEXT.
Observe him when you are with him. Do you have his home number? Work
number? Have you seen where he lives? Where he works? Is he
secretive?
Did you ask if he's married or engaged? How does he treat other
people?
Listen to what he says, NOT what you want to hear. Stop INTERPRETING
the meaning of what he says to fit your purposes. If he says, "I'm not
lookin' for nothing right now" -- DON'T tell yourself, "Aw, he just
scared of getting hurt. I can change his mind.." NO YOU CAN'T. He
said exactly what the hell he meant. BM don't have to lie when so many BW
are already DEAF.
If you can't answer BASIC questions about a man DON'T OPEN YOUR
LEGS. I could kinda understand back in the days when sex wouldn't KILL
people but now? there's no excuse and if a BW takes that huge risk of
sleeping with a STRANGER then she better protect herself -- sexually AND emotionally.
Show our azz the door if we pressure you for sex too soon. Don't be
afraid to be alone. After you give our azz some you will probably be
alone anyway but now you feel like a fool. In other words, take your
time and check us out. if we REALLY like you, we'll stick around.
BUT if you decided to sleep with a man you hardly know, PROTECT yourself
and keep your expectations to ZERO. We do not owe you a relationship or
another date just because you had sex with us. That's not how it
works,baby.
I have TOO many female friends who give me horror stories that could
have been avoided if they'd done their homework first OR moved
SLOWER before giving up the panties. I try as a Black Man to give them the best
advice I can but that won't mean a damn thing if BlackWomen continue to live in a
dream world. You are TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE for your own sexual behavior the
same as I am. Blaming the man won't change a damn thing. Black Women have to look
in the mirror and take SOME of the blame for what's wrong with BM/BW
relationships. Let me end by saying....
SEX DOES NOT = A RELATIONSHIP
GIVING A MAN A READY-MADE FAMILY WILL NOT MAKE HIM COMMIT IF HE
DOESN'T WANT TO
A MAN WILL NOT RESPECT A WOMAN WHO DOES NOT RESPECT HERSELF OR HER
BODY...IF YOU TRADE SEX FOR MATERIAL THINGS YOU ARE PROSTITUTING YOURSELF
IF HE DOESN'T TAKE CARE OF HIS OTHER CHILDREN WHY WOULD YOU HAVE A
BABY WITH HIM?
IF YOU REWARD A DOG WHY SHOULD MEN STOP BEING DOGS?
BRING MORE TO THE TABLE THAN YOUR BODY. NO YOUR P*ZZY IS NOT MADE OF
GOLD. IT IS ONLY AS GOOD AS I THINK IT IS. BELIEVE THAT.
BLACK WOMEN are going to have to raise their standards if they expect BLACK MEN to
do it. The question is, are my beautiful Black Women up to the challenge? Are
you willing to be strong and stop taking the easy way out? Ladies,
ladies, ladies, hit me back with some truth, not some bullshyt. I don't want
to hear: "What you said don't refer to me 'cause I got my shyt together
and I'm a proud black woman who intimidates men and I never made no
mistakes, it's those other women who do things like that."
No, no, no! I don't want to hear you putting yourself on a pedestal
because I KNOW you've made mistakes. I want you to hit me back with
some
TRUTH. What are BW going to do about these shady, shaky
relationships that wind up in divorce court 60-70%% of the time, that's if we
bother getting married at all? What are Black Women going to do DIFFERENT to make
this shyt better? Hit me back, ladies and gents..

To Trizzy (stay close)

In response to: 1 in the same ~ I'm so glad you're playing...TRUTH?? O.k. ~ what is the oldest woman that you've dated, and what was the main difference (sexually, conversationally, emotionally) btwn her and the ladies your age? (yeah...so I gave you a double-whammy, but you love ME, right??)

I dont hide my affection for older women, I have had several encounters with them but I am hard pressed to remember actually dating one.
I guess I'll tell you how it started.....My suite mates's mom would visit him alot due to the fact she worked on campus, our first meeting happened when I busted into the bathroom without knocking and she was in there changing clothes to go to a second job she had, I stumbled and bumbled my way out and back into my room only to have her follow me out topless telling me not to worry about it and attempting to talk to my nervous ass......weeks later I am in my romm chillin when there was a knock on the bathroom side of the door, I go to open it and to see Ms. Grier (she actually favored Pam Grier) on the opposite side. She said she came over to apologize for shocking the hell out me a few weeks back...I was like "cool" , "no problem".... I did let her know that I had no problem seeing her in that element and I realized that she didnt seem shy about it. We talk a little more about this and that, where we were from, and then the world got smaller....I found out she knew my Dad, and that my Dad actually had tried to get with her back in the day !! Long story short I started running into her on a regular basis on campus...and finally got the nerve to step my game up and aproach this WOMAN... I asked her out, she proceeds to tell me how cute she thought that was, leading up to what I thought was going to be a thanks but no thanks type of moment, as I dropped my head and started walking away she asks me how are we gonna go out if you dont know where I live... Fast forward to the weekend I get to her spot about 9:30, she says she wants to stay in and just drink and talk, I was cool with that since my pockets were thin... we drank Hennessey for hours...one thing lead to another and BAM!! She took your boy to places that I had never known existed, oral (girls my age wouldnt do that) from the back (girls my age werent comfortable enough to go there) I felt like I was in a porno movie....

So to answer Trish's second question at the time the biggest difference was sex... the older women knew what they wanted and how to ask for it, there was no beating around the bush, just straight to it, and boy was "it" good... I still dont discriminate against age (I am 28 so.....45 or 46 is my cutoff)but I do find myself talking to younger women these days (younger being 25 to 26)
Emotionally things are not that different, older women are usually more stable financially but that is not a big thing with me, I am able to hold my own conversationally so that is not a problem either.
Dont get me wrong I dont go out looking for older women it is generally just whomever I vibe with.. Thanks Trish for giving me something to post... Good Stuff...1