I Did This To Myself

I was reflecting on my past relationships with a co-worker one day after reading one of Blah's blogs about loving someone that dosen't love you, and it made me think about all of the females that I have wronged in my life.
I have always been blessed to have good quality women in my corner when it comes to relationships, dont get me wrong I have had my share of skeezers,weirdos,chicken-heads, and just your avereage run of the mill stank ass hoes but those were just to serve one purpose only. When it comes time for a relationship there is usually a quality woman there ready and willing to be a part on my life, if I am not reluctant to let her do so.

I said all of that to get to this story...this happened during my college years and really affected me in ways that I was not aware of until recently.

When I went into college I had no intentions of getting into a serious relationship, afterall I was on the basketball team (even though I wasnt going to see much court time I could still pull all of the second tier chicks that the real ballers didn't want, and I had planned to fully take advantage of my new social position)..little did I know that I would meet this beautiful, smart, gorgeous, sweet, sexy, coke bottle shaped, young lady (we'll call her....The Preacher's Daughter or PD)it was LOVE at first sight, my jaw dropped when I saw her... I remember it like it was yesterday...she was standing on the opposite side of a fence by her dorm, I was walking with my man Big D who was in the band and had already been at school for a week..Big D says "Hey PD what's up"....I immediately grabbed this African around the neck and started the interrogation "Who is she" "Where is she from" "Can I be her baby daddy" the whole nine...He proceeds to answer all of my questions, tells me she is in the band with him and then tells me I am on my own if I want to holla at her... (Insert dramatic music here) this is supposed to be my boy and he is leaving me hanging like this...truth be told he already knew PD, he knew what she was about, and knew she did not need to be talking to my sorry ass. Never the less I did convince him to at least introduce me to her which he did, and the Donkey took over from there, somehow I talked her in to going out with me on the very next night,as long as we took my man Big D, and 3 of her friends who were some big homely chicks and I drove a Geo Storm...but I pulled it off some kind of way. Long story short...we went out (I hit it the next day) and ended up starting a relationship with her, I ended up falling DEEPLY in love with PD everyone knew it. I was a changed man, she had me in church, in the choir, and I had my Donkey in check for one of the first times in my life... but the sun don't shine forever......

Basketball season starts, the ladies are starting to notice your boy a little more, and the obvious happens... my "friends" on the team started tellin me how crazy I was to be locked down to one woman and that I should be out trying to gather all of the "scattered ass" that I could while the geting was good...I knew I couldn't hurt PD no more than I already had, and I wanted to do the "right" thing, so My Stupid Ass decides to break it off with her....

1inthesame: "PD you know I love you.. but I have reached a point where I am not sure what I want and I think we should take some time apart"..

PD: "I thought things were good between us please don't do this I can't handle this right now I need you"

1: "PD please dont make this any harder than it has to be, we need this time apart"

(to this day this was the hardest thing that I have ever done)
she continues to beg me not to do this to us...we talk for about 2 more hours, with her crying the entire time... I finally think I have her convinced we need time apart... I walk her back to her dorm...walk back to my dorm..take a nap..get up to get ready for practice...something tells me to call PD to check on her..her roomate "Project Pat" answers the phone..I ask Pat where PD is, she says, she is laying over here in the bed she has been passed out since I got in the room... I ask her to wake PD up....she comes back to the phone saying that she is really sleeping hard I cant wake her up...RED FLAGS !!!!!!!! PD is an extremely light sleeper, I tell Pat to STAY put until I get there,something is not right...I run across campus to her dorm..(at our school guys had to check in with the girls dorm proctor in order to go back to their room) I go check in with the proctor very frantically...I need to see PD ASAP...this fat bitch was on the phone and looked at me like I was crazy...I told her again I need to see PD ASAP...I still didn't get the desired response....so I jump over her desk and head back to PD's room...I start beating on the door hoping Pat will answer the door... no answer, by this time the proctors big butt has gotten off of the phone and is coming towards me with campus security..I tell her what I think is wrong, all the while she is telling Security about what I did...instead of going to check on PD they "usher" me back to the front to calm me down.... Proctor lady gets the message finally and trots back to unlock the door....I bust free from Campus cops and get to the door right as she is opening it.... PD is PASSED out COLD on the bed.... security comes and calls the ambulance to rush her to the hospital...Come to find out she has taken every form of medication that she has in her room and even went to buy more she had take over 20 kinds of medication !!! She arrived to the hospital in time to have her stomach pumped and she survived... after a couple of days in the hospital under the Doc's care and the watchful eye of her Mom, she was released to go home......

We never officially got back together after this suicide incident...during my "Jack Ass" phase she met some cat that was supposedly all into church and he made her forget about me...she married this bastard shortly thereafter and they are still married to this day, they have 3 kids, she has 2 jobs, he quit his job, started taking drugs, and will not let her leave him.. (I got all of this info from one of her friends that I ran into on one of my trips home).... I BLAME Myself for all of this....

Now I find myself staying in relationships that I dont want to be in because I am worried about the person trying to harm themselves due to me,I stay involved hoping that she'll get tired of me and the distance that I continue to put between us maybe she'll break it off with me. I did this to myself, I deserve it, I refuse to put myself through that again, who knows...maybe next time I'll ignore that something telling me to call,maybe next time I wont run over to check on her, maybe next time I'll be too late... I do know that it will be a blessing to be with woman that was as good to me as she was, a woman as sweet, kind, loving, and beautiful as she was... I know I did this to myself........1

My Friend

I have this really great friend.....and I love her. I just can't say her name...... If I could I'd tell the world. (are you happy now)

?? What If Wednesday ??

On top of the last blog I have a couple of "What If" questions for ya'll...

1. What if you were a porn star ?? What would your name be ?? I am going to "borrow" (damn I am "borrowing" a lot of stuff lately) Buck Naked...this was the name George used on Seinfield.


2. What if I tried to get on a commercial flight with a jumbo tub of Vaseline Intensive care lotion, a bag of Trac Phones (cell phones), and a Hawaiian Punch. Would I be considered a terrorist threat ??

3. What if the South would have won the Civil War ?? Would that not have beem some shit, what would 50cent and Flava Flav be doing ??

4. What if you shared a problem with someone and their response was "I don't have a solution, but I admire your problem"...would you be tempted to smack their mother for giving birth to such a smart assed child ??

5. What if you got a paper cut from a Get Well Card ??

6. What if all of the teams in the NFL go 8-8 this season ??

7. What if someone suffering from amnesia was cured ?? Would they remember what they forgot??

8. What if a fat person went skinny dipping ??

9. What if the Hokey-Pokey is really "what it's all about" ??

10. Lastly ya'll for my What If Wednesday (drum roll please)..... What if Wiley Coyote didn't buy all of that cheap ass ACME stuff....could he have just went out and purchased dinner ??

You can see what kind of day I am having...enjoy yours !! 1

?? Why Why Why ??

I have felt really uninspired over the course of the last week so here is something that I "borrowed" from an email....



Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

Acting a Donkey

Girl, I been shaking, sticking and moving tryin to get you and that booty
Tryin get to you and that booty....
Girl, I been shaking and acting a DONKEY tryin to get you and that monkey
Tryin to get you and that monkey... (T-Pain featuring E40 / U and Dat)

How does a DONKEY act one might say...
Anyone that knows me (feel free to comment) knows that I am usually a laid back guy, I tend go with the flow, I am non-confrontational (to an extent), basically a laid back, hide and watch type of guy..... but then there another side of me.. an alcohol fueled beast that tends to make sure he is seen and known (sort of like P Diddy...lol).

The Donkey laid low for years when I first moved up here.. being a country animal and not being used to the "BIG" city and all...and then one night it happened... (I believe the moon was full that night) after having 10 or 12 beers... 7 or 8 Absolut and Cran (this is supposed to be my "finisher") it was like when the lightning hit Frankenstein.. "I was ALIVE".... The Donkey had me everywhere...talking to women, dancing, flirting, passing out my number, taking numbers, buying drinks, drinking drinks.... This MoFo was on point all night !! I had to ask one of my friends the next day "did you see my donkey last night"...she was like "Donkey ?? No, Why ??" I say.."Because I know I showed my ass !!" (I'll wait while you try to recover from laughing at that funny shit.....hum the music from Jeopardy to yourself.............) Since that night it gets easier each time I go out to let my guard down, to let the donkey run things for a moment...letting him out of the cage once every two or three months shouldn't hurt anything should it ??


This is my alter-ego ladies and gents, who else out there has one ??

Age Ain't Nothing But A Number.......(Or Is It ??)

I believe Aaliyah said it best in her song...but I am starting to question this shit. I have a friend (who shall remain nameless in this post, she knows who she is) that refuses to tell me how old she is, she used the adage of "If you really like someone what difference does age make".... that is my sentiment exactly !! What difference does it make !?! I know this is like arguing with a stop sign...especially since we are saying the same thing (what difference does it make). I get agitated when I ask (not that frequently) and she says "why do you need to know"...and I know she gets pissed when I ask (not frequently..but frequent enough to piss somebody off).
She threw me some random # just to shut me up...and I did shut up, but just because I felt insulted.
My question for you all is should I just drop it because it is some trivial bullshit.....or should I press it 'cause what kind of relationship (friendship or otherwise) can be built if we cant share trivial shit ??
If you are liked by me (friendship or otherwise) I dont give a f**k if you are blind,cripple, and crazy (as long as you are fine)(just joking...I am not quite that shallow)...the worth I place on your age would equal a glass of baboon piss (nothing to me...somebody might actually drink that shit !!!)
But give me your feedback....what would ya'll do.

Shout out to HUNTSVILLE ALABAMA....thanks for showing me a good time this weekend (Black Applebees was off the chain !!) see you in October for Homecoming !!

!! Going to the Sip !!

I had no intentions of going all the way home this weekend... but my folks gave me this guilt trip on how I'd feel bad if something happened to them and I didnt stop by this weekend...I am not going to be that damn close to the crib (3 hours),but I love my folks so I am going ALL THE WAY HOME.

With that being said...IT'S ON !!! Since I moved up here, everytime I go home has the potential to be a booty buffet,I'm talking every female I ever had the displeasure of knowing is coming up to me. The average conversation goes like this...(female) "Hey hows jou doing" (me)"fine and you" (female) "we ok, since you at home when you gon take me and my momma to the drive in picture" (me) "as flattering as that sounds I think I will pass, I am a little busy this weekend" {female} "ohh ok I see you done went and moved Up North and you too good fo us" {me} no that is not the case at all, I am just really busy attempting to visit all of my family and all" {feamle)"weel if that's the case just come over to Momma's tonight and I'll give you some ass before you leave".......... WTF !! what part of the game is this... this is totally a fictional conversation but it is always that easy to come across some "scattered ass" when I visit. This is a good example of out of sight out of mind..because when I am Up North I dont hear from any of these scamps, but as soon as I get home here they come like roaches with the lights off.
They have me feeling like the one "African" that ran away from "Boss" and the plantation that got away. It's crazy !!
But non the less I will ride my donkey up in there and act a fuken fool all weekend and on the way home I am looking at this "donkey" like WTF did you do...notice how I put all of the blame on the donkey.

I can always leave it up to my guys to roll out the red carpet and show me a great time whenever I return...just bring the Raid out for those roaches.
!! NO RECIPROCATION NEEDED THIS WEEKEND !! Leave me the Hell ALONE.. I'm on vacation.

Totally off of the subject sidenote: Have any of you guys seen the Pine-Sol commercials where someone is just chilling and then they get a whiff of Pine-Sol and just scream out WOOO !! Then the fat black lady comes out and says "That's the power of Pine-Sol baby"... I think I can apply this same concept to some good (stuff) your boy had recently..I was just sitting here thinking about that (stuff)and damn near (at my desk) screamed WOO !! I half expected the fat black lady to waddle her ass from around the corner and say "That's the power of Pu**y baby" WOO !! 1

My Stupid Ass

Thanks to Missy for telling me that comments were not posting....I apologize guys, apparently I checked Moderate comments while playing around with the settings on Friday not knowing what in the Hell I was doing..I was just about to stop posting..I was like Damn nobody even reading this shit.... But thanks for posting ...and please let me know next time. Email your boy...thesameoneinthesame@yahoo.com

Reciprocated

After all of this preaching that I have been doing about "reciprocation"... I have come to realize that the best things come to those who wait. I am going to stop being one of those give me mine now brothers... with everything women have to go through these days...Personally I am lucky to be getting anything at all.
After a careful, in depth field study this is the conclusion reached: save a little for later,an element of surprise is not that bad. Ladies and gentlemen please do not take this and run with it..thinking that after you get hooked up you can just take your ass to sleep with the mindset of "no problem I'll get you back next week." Remember there is a fine line between satisfaction and getting your ass choked from all of the sexual frustration that you have helped your significant other build up.
I am going to bring my "A" game each and every time (except that one time after drinking a 1/2 gallon of Extra Dry Gin...I wonder did I ever apologize for throwing up on her ??)so I just feel my effort should be duplicated.

With that said..I have reached another conclusion.I used to live under the LAW that it was about the quanity of the ass and not the quality...boy was I wrong. I seemed to only pay attention to the packaging and not to the product. If I would reached this conclusion years ago I could have saved myself numerous embarassing encounters, such as the ever dreaded "why didnt you call me the next day", "how you just gonna bust a nut and leave", or the one I hated the most "what's next". I never really thought about making a connection, sharing a bond, none of those quality things. I was all about SMASHING,DESTROYING,KILLING some booty. Damn if I knew then what I now know....
I have been reciprocated ya'll...payback is a bitch !! 1